Enjoy Some Puns

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Sent by: Rohama Shah

‘A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion’, ‘Without geometry, life is pointless’, and ‘Old students never die, they just get degraded’ are just a few phrases that can best describe a pun. But, what is a pun? And how we recognize it when we come across one? Take this example - ‘A pun is its own reword’. Guess, this perfectly suffices the definition of a pun. A pun, or paronomasia, is literally the rewording or rephrasing of words that exhibit numerous humorous meanings. A kind of word play, puns add beauty and ambiguity to a speech as they are fun to hear. As such, they are considered to be one of the best and wonderful aspects of creative writing or academic writing. Check out these. ‘The optometrist made a spectacle of himself’ and ‘Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana’. Read on further to know some funny, cute and famous examples of puns. Read, enjoy and have a great laugh over them.
 
Funny Puns
• Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants’ fingers.
• Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah? (cheater)
• Don't justify sin, just defy sin.
• A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.
• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
• When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
• A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
• The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
• A horse is a very stable animal.
• The duck said to the shopkeeper, ‘Put it on my bill’.
• I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• Don't join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects!
• A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
• When a clock is hungry it goes back four (for) seconds.

 

Cute Puns
• Old seers never die, they just lose their vision.
• She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
• I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
• Art doesn't transform. It just plain forms.
• Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.
• What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes? You can't venom (win ‘em) all.
• No matter how much you push the envelop, it will still be stationery.
• The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
• A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
• Are you going the wrong weigh?
• Which president was least guilty? Lincoln. He is in a cent (innocent).

 

Famous Puns
• When it rains, it pours.
• To pun is to treat homonyms as synonyms.
• The road to success is always under construction.
• Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and experience ... well, that comes from poor judgment.
• I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
• Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
• That that is, is, that that is not, is not.
• I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn't my racket.
• I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.
• You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.
• Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man.
• An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
• I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it.
• With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.